


"Don't torture yourself . . . that's my job"

by neil4god



Series: "This mamushka is for you" [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Addams Family (1991)
Genre: Angst, Derek is 16ish, Derek is very uncomfortable with their age gap, Derek loves his mate, Derek trying to do the right thing and failing, F/M, Hale fire, M/M, No Smut, Nothing explicit, Pubert Addams - Freeform, Stiles is 10, mentions extreme underage, thinking back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 17:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3143375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neil4god/pseuds/neil4god
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek loves his mate, he only wishes he were a little older, so he could show him how much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Don't torture yourself . . . that's my job"

**Author's Note:**

> This is set about 7/8 years before the first story, this is Derek trying to deal with having a mate who's younger than him. Of course because it's Derek it's mostly self-recriminations and angst. Plus Kate of course.

Derek tried not to think about it too often. Mostly he shoved it in a corner of his brain and tried to forget about it. But sometimes he can’t, things get too much for him and every thought seems to revolve around one thing, Pubert. It’s not that he doesn’t want a mate, of course he does. He loves his mate, a little too much really. His parents don’t understand it and Pubert’ parents really don’t understand it. As far as everyone is concerned, they’re mates and that’s that. It doesn’t bother them that the age gap is a little big. It bothers Derek though. 

His wolf wants his mate all the time. He wants to bathe in his scent and mark him as theirs. He wants to lick and kiss and fuck, but Pubert is little, barely nine and Derek knows that isn’t right. He knows he shouldn’t touch him, is repulsed with himself for even thinking it. So he forces Pubert out of his thoughts and focuses on someone else, Kate. She’s nasty under the nice and he likes that. He likes her sharp wit and the acid in her stare, it reminds him of his mate. He doesn’t really like kissing her though, it always feels wrong somehow, it’s even worse when her hands start to roam. He lets her do it though because he’s sixteen, he’s supposed to be sleeping with girls and having sex with inappropriate people. Kate definitely counts as inappropriate. He doesn’t enjoy it very much, hates the scent of her on his skin, hates her voice in his ear cooing at him like he’s a child. 

She’s older than him and somehow that’s what makes it ok. He’s able to repress his fantasies by acting out hers. Of course, it doesn’t take long before his wolf begins to howl. It’s been three months since he’s seen Pubert, since he’s touched him. The t-shirt he stole from Pubert's room doesn’t smell like him anymore, but Derek still sleeps with it under his pillow. He’s losing control, starts picking fights with random people, can’t keep hold of his temper no matter how hard he tries. He does try, but in the end he can’t take it. Kate brushes up against him, all soft and sweet and he’s running, racing through the preserve, flying past his sister, desperate to get to Pubert. He has to see him, has to apologize, needs to make amends. He’ll do better, think better thoughts, he’ll wait as long as he has to for Pubert to grow up, to want him back. He’ll be Pubert’s first and last. He’ll fix this somehow. 

By the time he reached the Addam’s property line he was exhausted, heaving for breath and desperate for water. He collapsed in a heap at Pubert’s feet, his sister Laura still behind him after all this time. She smiled at him sharply, letting him know she was there for him but that he was doing the right thing. The young boy wrapped his arms around Derek, shoving his body into Derek’s as much as he could, calling him a silly sourwolf. He was silly. He shouldn’t have stayed away so long, he should have been better. They stayed like that until he felt the bonds snap and break, his family snuffing from existence in one instance. He passed out from the pain and fear of it, too young to deal with the crippling hole in his psyche where his family used to be; not when this was his fault, not when he should have known better. He didn’t deserve a mate.


End file.
